Fading Ache, Long recovery
by TurquoiseRose16
Summary: This is the sequel to Lasting Pain, Sleepless Nights. James tried to kill himself only to survive and be taken hostage by those who want their revenge. How will James get out of this one? Wait, maybe he won't.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is the sequel to Lasting Pain, Sleepless Nights and if you haven't read it I highly suggest you do so you understand this story. Unfortunately, I am starting school tomorrow so I will not be able to update as frequently as I did before. I am hoping to get the next chapter up by next week. Please R&R!**

Kendall P.o.v.

The day they held James' funeral it was like the heavens wept with everyone else. It rained continuously all day. Not one person there had a dry eye. All of his friends and family were there, save for his parents who when they got the news packed up everything and left the next day. They never found a body but there was no doubt he was dead. No person could live from falling from that height. I sighed, and a tear dripped from my cheek when I got the signal it was time for me to say the eulogy. I stood up and slowly walked to the podium. I choked back a sob as a few more tears fell from my eyes.

"James. James David Maslow. I have known him since fourth grade, and I can honestly say he was one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Though you may have not known this, he was so selfless it was almost annoying. He was also one of the kindest people I ever knew. He wore his heart on his sleeve and I think that's what killed him. He acts confident, but he relies on others more than you could believe. And one of the things about him that drove me crazy was he cared about his friends more than himself," I stopped momentarily to wipe away the tears that started to fall. "He hid more pain than I thought possible, yet still was able to act like nothing was wrong. I envy him in a way. He doesn't have to live in this cruel world anymore, but this is not the way he should have left. I'll miss you buddy," I finished hurrying back to my seat.

I buried my face in my hands and continued to sob quietly. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and when I turned I found it belonged to Logan. I looked at him and noticed how his eyes were red rimmed and that he had deep purple bags under them, as if he hadn't slept in a week. I suddenly realized something, I knew the last few days, had been horrible for me, but I forgot about how it must have felt for everyone else. As I looked over to Carlos he looked back at me. His bright brown eyes were dulled with pain and he had tear streaks down his cheeks. He just looked so unCarlosish. He hadn't even worn his helmet since the day we lost our best friend. My heart broke at the sight. But when I glanced over at Lexi my heart shattered. Her head was in her hands and she was sobbing so hard she was shaking. She looked so frail and helpless. She was in love with James, and James was in love with her. I don't know what could have possibly possessed him to leave her. To leave us. We loved him. He was our brother. I walked over to her and embraced her. I knew I could never fill James' place but for her sake I had to try. A few tears leaked down my cheeks as I thought how he would never see her again. Never kiss her. Never hold her as I am now. Oh, James. Why?

James P.o.v.

I was surrounded by darkness, but I heard voices. A man and a woman. I didn't recognize them and I didn't understand them. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids felt like they weighed a ton each. I struggled but was able to pry my eyes open. The bright white lights burned as they hit my eyes. I shut my eyes again to escape the light. I slowly opened my eyes once more, though this time blinking repetitively until my eyes adjusted. As my vision cleared I saw the man and woman move to my bed side.

"How are you feeling?" the woman asked me, concern evident in her eyes.

"Fine." I said quietly. My voice came out scratchy and rough and my throat felt like sandpaper.

"Here, drink this," the woman said holding out a cup of water.

I sat up slowly, but gritted my teeth when the pain ripped through my stomach. She noticed and placed her hand on my shoulder. I took the cup of water and drank it thirstily. I drained the cup in a few seconds. I set the cup on the table beside me and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I looked around and realized I was in a hospital.

"Why am I here?" I asked them.

"Don't you remember? We found you lying on the shore. You were in very bad shape; in fact when we found you we actually thought you were dead. Luckily we got to you in time. We called an ambulance and you were brought here. You had a deep cut across your stomach and some bad head trauma. You are very lucky," she finished with a smile.

"Um, where is here? And who are you?" I asked glancing between the two.

"Oh you are in St. John's hospital and my name is Keely and this is my husband John," she finished with a smile.

"Nice to meet you, I'm James Diamond," I replied.

"So, you don't remember how you got here?" John asked.

"No," I shook my head,"No I –."

It suddenly all came back to me. The cliff, the falling, the water, the pain. And Lexi. I made the worst mistake of my life.

"I need to get back home," I said quickly.

"Well, you can't leave right now, but when you are healed enough to travel we will gladly take you home," John said.

I sighed and nodded my head.

I laid back on the pillow and held back tears as I thought about Lexi. I loved her, but after this she would never love me. I made the biggest mistake of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I'm sorry I took so long to update, but school has been insane. I just got through the first week and I already have to do an essay, three English pages, a history page, a science worksheet, study for a Spanish quiz, write a paragraph about a memory from my childhood, and learn three new band songs. Sigh, anyway back to the story.**

Kendall P.o.v.

I woke up today praying everything that happened was nothing more than a dream. Perhaps a terrible nightmare. Yeah, that is it. When I open my eyes, I will still be in California, in the Palm Woods, in our apartment. But, when I opened my eyes I was in Minnesota, in my room. I sat up and blinked back tears. I reached for my phone and I didn't think, I just dialed the number I knew best. James' number. It rang and rang and rang until finally the recorded voice played. _Hi, sorry I can't come to the phone right now; I'm too busy hanging with the guys to answer it. I will call you back as soon as I can._ You could faintly hear the yells of Carlos, Logan, and me in the background. Followed by James laughing. I hung up before I heard the beep. I had tears down my face as I stood up. I hurried out into the bathroom and locked the door. I slid down the wall to the floor to steady my breathing. _In and out. In and out. Breathe, just breathe, _I told myself. I sighed and stood up. As I looked in the mirror I noticed my bloodshot eyes and deep purple bags under my eyes. I turned on the water and splashed it on my face, wiping the tear tracts off my cheeks. I shut it off, and dried off my face. As I walked back to my room I heard my phone go off. I raced into my room to find I had missed the call. One missed call: Alexis Christen. I quickly dialed her number. It rang and rang and rang, and went to voicemail. _Shit. _I flipped the phone shut. I hurried down the stairs, grabbing a jacket as I passed the rack. I bolted through the door slamming it as I ran out. I fast walked down the sidewalk to her house, nearly slipping on a patch of ice. I glanced at the houses as I passed, praying I had remembered her address correctly. I walked up the driveway of the one I prayed was her house. I knocked repeatedly on the door until someone opened it. It was Alexis. Thank goodness I was right.

"Hey, so you called?" I asked smiling.

"Yeah I just wanted someone to talk to. I didn't think you would walk over here at seven in the morning," she said with a small smirk.

I looked her over. She was wearing a baggy long sleeved shirt and sweat pants. She leaned on the frame of the doorway as I gave a nervous laugh.

"Well with everything going on I thought I might pay you a visit, besides the early bird gets the worm and all that right?" I said glancing back and forth.

She laughed and stretched her arms above her head.

"I take it you just woke up?" I asked stifling a laugh at the sight of her hair. Some of it was sticking up at awkward angles while other pieces hung in front of her face.

"No, I just got woken up by someone with dirty blond hair, and a name that starts with a K," she replied giving me a pissed look.

"Heh heh, sorry about that," I said with a light blush passing over my cheeks.

"It's fine, really. Oh come on in," she said opening the door wider.

"Thanks."

As I followed her in I noticed a few bright red lines on her wrist where her sleeve got pushed up. I guess she noticed me staring, because she quickly pulled down her sleeve. But it was too late. She knew I saw them. A few tears trickled down her face as she hung her head down. I spread out my arms and embraced her quaking figure.

"I-I just m-miss him s-so mu-much," she cried into my shoulder.

"I know, I know. I miss him too, but you shouldn't do this. He wouldn't want you too. I promise we will get through this together," I reassured her.

She slowly lifted her head and nodded. Her eyes were bright red and she still had tears streaming down her cheeks. I wiped one away with my thumb and pulled her close again. _We will get through this. We have to._

James P.o.v.

I heard a muffled voice around me and hazily wondered what it was doing here. I slowly cracked open my eyes to look around. As my vision came into focus I recognized the person next to me. I yawned and sat up, still slightly wincing at the pain it caused.

Keely came over to me and rubbed my shoulder in an almost comforting way. "So how are you feeling?" she asked giving me a soft smile.

"I'm doing better but I still am in a lot of pain," I replied stretching my arms out careful not to aggravate the wound. "So tell me about yourselves. I would like to know more about the people that saved me."

"Well, alright," she replied. "I am a banker at State Bank of the Lakes and my husband is a police officer. We don't have any kids, but we used to. Our son died during a heart transplant. The doctors were so sure he was going to make it. Imagine our surprise when we found out he died on the operating table. He was only seven. So young," she stopped speaking as she tears ran down her face. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. "It's alright, I am fine now," she said regaining her composure. "We miss him dearly, but he is in a better place now," she finished with a forced smile.

"I am so sorry," I said looking down.

"You should be," she mumbled under her breath.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," she said cheerfully, trying to make the best of the awkward moment.

"So, when am I able to leave?" I asked hoping it would be soon.

"Not for awhile," she said an evil smile momentarily passing her lips. She glanced briefly at her husband sitting in the chair across the room asleep. I gave her a questioning look and she just flashed a sickening sweet smile at me. She turned her head quickly her long strawberry blond hair whipping behind her. She walked slowly over to John and shook him awake. He opened his eyes rather quickly and stood up. They both came back over and stood beside the bed.

"So what is like awhile a few days, maybe a week?" I asked questioningly.

"No awhile as in never," John said glaring at me with his icy blue grey eyes.

"Never?" I asked my eyes widening in fear.

"Yes, never," she reiterated.

"Wh-what? Why?" I asked my skin turning white.

"Because we are going to get our revenge on your father by torturing you," Keely said flashing me a wicked smirk.

"What did he do?" I asked now slightly angered he was the reason for this.

"He killed our son," John spat through gritted teeth.

My eyes widened. I remember he was once a professional doctor, but quit after losing a patient on the operating table. That was their son. I get it now.

"So what are you going to do to me," I asked glaring at the couple.

"Just make you wish you were dead," John replied smacking me across the face.

I winced in pain.

"Oh did that hurt? I'm sorry. It will get a lot worse but in the mean time, here," she said holding out a pill. I turned my head at it. That didn't stop them though. John forced open my mouth and shoved the pill down my throat. Within a few seconds I felt myself go lightheaded. As my eyes closed I saw them give me an evil grin before I lost consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, so this chapter is going to be the last one for about a week or so. I have a lot of things in school to worry about so I won't be able to post often. But in the mean time, enjoy!**

James P.o.v.

I woke up feeling lightheaded. I looked around to see I was still in the hospital, but there was no sign of Keely or John. A sudden wave of fear surged through my body as I recalled the events of last night. I shuddered unconsciously and shut my eyes tightly hoping this was all a dream. I was momentarily put at ease with the fact that this could indeed be all a dream. I would open my eyes and be in my bed in the apartment excited for another day of rehearsal. A small smile crossed my lips as an image of Lexi passed through my mind. I slowly opened my eyes and felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing all of this was indeed real. I sighed and turned over on my side. I stared at the door expecting someone to come in at any moment, but no one did. I shut my eyes and continued to daydream. If only my dreams could be real, then none of this would matter.

Carlos P.o.v.

I don't know how Kendall, Logan, and I are going to stay close without James. Yes, we were best friends long before we met him, but it just won't be the same anymore. James kept us together. And though Kendall is our leader, James was over protective of all of us. I just wish we could've protected him. I don't even know how we could miss all of his problems. We should have noticed the scars. We should have noticed the weight loss. We should have noticed the lack of sleep. I should have noticed. I am so stupid. I banged my head against the wall. He is my best friend; this shows how unobservant I am. If I was the way he was he would have noticed. I hit my head against the wall again. I am an awful person. Why didn't I see it? It is all my fault. I smacked my head into the wall once more. I gripped the wall as the dizziness took over. I felt something warm trickle down the back of my head. I ran my fingers over the back of my head and winced when I felt a bump. I looked at my fingers and they were covered in blood. I didn't care; I just hit my head into the wall once again and let myself slide to the floor. I felt the tears leak out of my eyes and fall onto my pants, creating dark splotches. I buried my head into my hands and just continued to cry, disrupting the once silent atmosphere in the room.

Logan P.o.v.

I have been trying to fix my hair, but every time I look into the mirror I have flashbacks to the times when we were young, and everything was normal. No problems, no worries, no stress, just time with friends. I sighed and continued to mess with my hair. I haven't been sleeping and it shows. My eyes are red and I have deep bags under my eyes. My skin has always been on the paler side, but lately it literally looks white. I can't even eat anymore. No, I am not trying to starve myself, but every time I eat something it ends up coming right back up. I know worrying like this isn't healthy, but I can't help it. I can't help but wonder what it is going to be like in the future. We are going to have to end BTR; I mean we can't do it without James. And we could never replace him; we learned that from the Hawk incident. I guess Gustavo's final shot at the big time has failed. And we were so close too. Sigh. I wonder how the other guys are doing. I haven't seen them since the funeral. I wonder if they are as bad off as I am. No, they are probably worse. I was never as close to James as the other two were. Especially Carlos. Those two had a special bond. I don't know how he will survive without the other Super Hollywood Party King of Hollywood. I laughed slightly as I recalled the day we had our little "get together" at the Palm Woods. I remember that night perfectly. I was thrown into the pool, I danced with Camille, and we got Bitters locked in the Super Fun Party Box. I think James was right. If we don't party we die. At the thought of James, I shut my eyes tightly resisting the urge to cry.

"James, I don't know if you can hear me, but please tell me why?" I shouted at the ceiling. "Why, James? Why did you do this to us?" I dropped to my knees as the tear fell. _Why?_

Kendall P.o.v.

I sat on my bed staring out into the darkness of the night. When James took his own life, he took our lives with him. None of us have been the same since he left us, and I don't think we will ever be again. He was like family to us. He was my brother and like a brother to Katie. Oh, Katie. How will I tell her what happened. How will I tell my mom? Am I supposed to say "Oh, yeah we are having a great time in Minnesota. Oh, by the way James committed suicide. I love you, too." I don't know how I am going to tell them. Sigh. We were like a puzzle. We fit together perfectly, but now we are just missing a piece. And the piece is gone forever. I wonder if the guys feel alone and broken too or if it is just me. I just don't know how he could do this to us. Doesn't he know how much this is killing us? I stood up and punched the wall behind my bed. I felt my fist go through the plaster and collide with the wood frame in the wall. As I pulled my hand out I felt something warm trickle down my hand. Blood. I plopped back down on my bed, and tears cascaded down my face. Yes, I was crying, but not from the pain, from the heartbreak. Physical pain was numb to me, but mental pain was unbearable. I told everyone we would get through this, but now I am not so sure.

Lexi P.o.v.

I stared at the blade for a good twenty minutes before hurling it across the room. I had been debating on joining James or staying here. No matter how much I love him I will never resort to killing myself. I could never bear to put the others through this again. I slid down the wall and landed hardly on the tile. Sigh. I wonder if he actually ever loved me. I mean he wouldn't have left me if he did, but he always told me he did. My thoughts were spinning and I couldn't even see anymore. I was blinded by my tears. As I wiped them away, I noticed that there was a fly in the bathroom. I watched it land and I stood up. I crept over to it and grabbed it before it took flight. I slid open the window and slowly opened my hand. It swiftly flew out, free once again. In a way I envy the fly. It was free while I was not. I won't be free. I can't be. Not without him. _James, I need you. Why did you leave me?_

**This is more of a filler chapter, but the next one will be a lot more action packed. Please R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4

**So here is the next chapter, oh and I know it is kind of late to do this, but I am changing the woman's name from Keely to Sophia. You see when I was thinking of a name for her, my best friend's name came to me so I used it, but I was unaware of where this story was going at the time. And it just doesn't feel right to have my best friend's name be that of a kidnapper, so from now on her name will be Sophia. Alright? Enjoy this chapter!**

James P.o.v.

I was suddenly shaken awake from my dreamless sleep. I opened my eyes to come face to face with Sophia, her cold blue eyes boring a hole through my skull. She pulled me up into a sitting position and threw some clothes at me.

"We are leaving soon so get dressed," she growled before hurriedly leaving the room.

I slowly turned my body to face the door. I slid off the cot and let my feet touched the icy floor. I stood up straight and slipped the hospital gown off over my head, careful to not aggravate the wound. I grabbed the jeans that were in the pile of clothes she gave me and put them on quickly. Then I took the white T-shirt and slowly slipped it over my head. I made my way across the cold sterile floor and into the bathroom across from my bed. I flipped on the light and looked into the mirror. I had a few noticeable scratches on my cheeks but other than that I looked fine. I quickly ran my fingers through my tangled locks and sighed. No amount of hairspray could fix this mess. I shook my head as I walked back to the bed. I sat down and put on the sneakers she had given me. As I finished tying them, Sophia burst into the room, John following close behind her.

She roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me up to her level. "Come on, we are going. You will not say a word to anyone about us. Got it?" she asked glaring at me. I didn't respond. "Then maybe I will have to bring the other guys into this. I am sure they will love to know that you will be the reason they will be killed," she said taunting me.

My eyes widened in fear. "Fine. I won't say a single word," I replied hanging my head down.

"Good," she said as she walked out of the room.

I slowly followed her down the long hallway, John behind me to make sure I didn't try to escape. She was a good six feet in front of me as we made our way to the receptionist.

"Yes, I would like to check out James Diamond," she said putting on a fake smile.

"And you are?" the receptionist asked looking her over.

"Oh I am his mother, Brooke and this is his father, Chris," she said motioning over to John.

"Alright then. I just need you to sign here… and here. O.k. and you are good to go. Have a nice day," the receptionist said smiling.

"You, too," Sophia said giving a sweet smile at the lady. But after she turned around her smile faded to almost a grimace. I followed them out to a black 2002 Toyota Highlander. Sophia climbed in the driver's seat and John opened the back right door and pushed me into the car. He slammed the door than proceeded to sit in the passenger seat. I winced as my head hit the door as it closed. I sat up holding my head, and I buckled myself in. When I took my hand off my head I noticed that my hand had a faint red tint to it. I must have hit my head harder than I thought. I tried not to think about what was going to happen to me as our speed increased.

"So, where are we going," I asked as I watched the cars pass us on the opposite side of the street.

"Oh, don't worry you won't need to know that," John said turning to look at me. He gave me a cold stare before turning back around.

I leaned back in my seat and sighed. Since my friends and I have been separated a dull ache has filled my heart. I barely feel anymore. The cold has permeated me to my center. I glanced at the scars on my wrist now only slightly visible in the light, and regretted ever picking up the blade. I felt anger towards it, but mostly to myself for not being able to resist it. I slammed my head back into the seat and let out a soft groan as the familiar throbbing returned. It wasn't anything new. In fact I have almost grown accustomed to it. Almost like it has become part of me. I wanted the pain. No, I needed the pain. Without it I don't think I could survive let alone be sane. That is one of the reasons I cut. The pain kept me grounded, reminded me I was human. That I had a choice.

I looked back out the window, to find that we were no longer on a highway, but on a country road. I was daydreaming longer than I thought. I counted the trees as they passed, since they were the only things out here. After a few moments a small house was visible. It came up quickly and we pulled into the gravel driveway. We got out and John roughly grabbed my wrist and forced me inside. Unlike at the hospital, they could be as forceful as they wanted considering there was no one else for miles. That scared me.

I was dragged through the hallway and down into the cellar. He threw me down the stairs. I tried to soften the fall by putting my left arm behind me to catch myself. I heard a snap and pain shot through my entire arm. I tumbled down the steps until I hit the floor with a loud thump. I felt dizzy so I must have hit my head on the way down. My entire body ached with pain, but most of it came from my ribs. I suppose I may have cracked a few. I watched John laugh at my pain them slam the door. I heard a small click and I knew I was trapped. I tried to sit up but black spots blocked my vision, so I just lay back down. After a few moments I felt something warm puddle under my entire body. Using my right hand, I touched the substance and held my hand above my face. It was hard to see considering the only light was the soft glow of a small lamp in the far corner of the cellar, but I knew the substance was blood. I just laid there unable to move from the pain. I knew that I couldn't do this anymore. At least not alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**So… here is the next chapter. Enjoy!**

James P.o.v.

I huddled closer into the wall as I heard footsteps pass by the door. I managed to drag myself over to the wall, leaving a trail of blood in the process. I don't know how much longer I can stay awake. I know from everything Logan said that if a person has a severe head injury the last thing they should do is sleep. Otherwise, they may never wake up. To tell you the truth I am terrified. I have heard about this happening to other people, but I never thought it would happen to me. I am just glad that this isn't happening to the other guys, or Lexi. I don't think I would be able to handle that. In a way I think I deserve this. If I had never become a cutter, I wouldn't be in this mess.

I tried to move into a more comfortable position, but my ribs wouldn't allow it. Pain exploded through my chest and I held back a groan. I felt a warm liquid creep up in the back of my throat and I gagged as the blood poured into my mouth. I spat it out and it left a small red puddle next to me. I slid sown the wall and huddled into a ball. _Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. I can do this._

Carlos P.o.v.

I made my way across the park, through the tall grass by the forest. I remember how James and I would run through the trees. Weaving in and out of bushes and shrubs, as our laughter rang throughout the forest. Sigh. I sat down at the edge of the cliff where he…he…jumped. I swallowed hardly. As I gazed out I looked down at the white sandy beach I noticed something. No, it couldn't be. My eyes widened and I jumped up. I raced through the trees and down the hill toward the beach. I pushed past anyone who got in my way, as I pressed on to the shore. I slowed down as the grass turned to sand. I took deep breaths and used the last of my energy to make my way to where I saw the glare. I looked down at the object and was frozen to my spot. I picked it up and let a tear cascade down my cheek. He was alive. He had to be.

Lexi P.o.v.

I locked the door of my bathroom and raced to the cabinet. I searched through the mess of towels until I found what I was looking for. I pulled out a small shiny object and slid down the wall. I took a deep breath and held the object close to the underside of my wrist. I pressed down and watched the red seep out. A small smile came to my face as the blood dripped down my arm. I couldn't feel the pain only pleasure. I thought about James and pushed it down harder. I saw his perfect chocolate locks, gleaming white smile, and muscular frame. I let the tears drip free. Suddenly, I had a thought. What if I just ended it all. I could be with James and be happy at last. I let the blade drop from my grasp as I stood up. I reached into the cabinet and pulled out a small bottle. They were anti-depressants. It said to take one every eight hours. If I poured a handful I could be dead within a few minutes. I opened the bottle and putting it up to my lips I tossed my head back, pouring almost the entire content into my mouth. I grabbed a paper cup and filled it with water. I held the cup to my lips and drank deeply, swallowing every pill. I slid to the ground and rested my head in my lap. Won't be long now. I heard a noise from downstairs, almost as if someone opened the door. I tried to speak but sleep started to take over my senses. I heard footsteps nearing the bathroom and I just stared at the door. I wondered what they would think when they saw me. Bloody and dying. The door swung open and I saw Carlos grasping something in his hand smiling, that is until he saw me. His smile disappeared and he dropped to the floor next to me. He whipped out his phone and dialed 911. Black crept in on the edges of my vision. He snapped his phone closed and cradled me in his arms. He opened his hand and the item in his palm shocked me. It slid from his grasp and landed on the floor with a soft clang. Suddenly, I wanted to live. No, I needed to live. I heard sirens from outside as my eyes began to close. Jamie, I'm sorry.

**I am sorry it's kind of short but I haven't really had any time to work on it. And I really wanted to update. I am also sorry if it isn't any good, I will try to have the next chapter up within a week or two. Until then, TurquoiseRose16 out!**


	6. Chapter 6

Lexi P.o.v.

It was dark. Pitch black. But serene. Quiet. But lonely. I felt invisible. See through. Transparent. I was floating. Drifting away. I needed to wake up. I had to wake up. If not for myself but for James. I felt a shock course through my body and the darkness was slowly dissipating. My eyes felt like lead weights. Come on, wake up.

My eyes shot open and I gasped as air entered my lungs. I was suddenly aware of the burning pain in my chest and stomach. I took a few deep breaths and felt tears well up in my eyes. After a few minutes the burning faded, but only slightly. I blinked, clearing my vision of tears. I was in the hospital. I glanced around the room and my gaze landed on a figure huddled in a chair in the corner of the room. Carlos. He seemed to be deep in thought, fingering something. Suddenly, my thoughts flashed back to last night. Or at least I think it was last night. I remember Carlos holding me. Telling me I would be alright. Then he opened his hand and what he was holding slipped through his fingers. It landed on the floor with a quiet clang and the light casted an eerie shine on it. It belonged to James. A smile danced on my lips just thinking about him. I let out a small giggle and Carlos looked up. His eyes widened and he raced over to my bed side. He didn't say anything. All he did was open his hand. I looked at the item and just saw James' face. I shut my eyes and breathed in deeply. After a moment, I felt something cool touch the bare skin on my neck. I opened my eyes confused until I looked down and saw the necklace hanging from my neck. Carlos gave me a sad smile, then walked back to the chair and sat down. I fingered the piece of jewelry and just sighed. Though no one would believe us, we knew James was still alive. Yes, he jumped, but if he was dead we wouldn't have found his St. Christopher medal in the grass near the beach. He must have crawled out of the water and dropped it by mistake. I know it is his. He had it since he was little. Though nothing should have given him hope, that necklace did. His grandfather gave it to him shortly before he passed. His grandpa was the only one who actually cared about him. When he died James was crushed. He always wore it to keep his grandpa's memory alive. Suddenly, one thought crossed my mind. If he was alive, where was he?

James P.o.v.

Most of the pain faded, but that is probably because I lost feeling in most of my body. The only thing I could feel was the burning in my lungs every time I took a breath. I tried sitting up, but my body protested. I slowly lay back down and just released the breath I was holding. I keep hoping that they would find me, but they don't even know I am alive. Without them I'm as good as dead. I reached towards my neck to touch my necklace to find it was gone. I felt the color drain from my face. It was gone. How could I lose it? I thought for a moment and came to the conclusion that it most likely fell off in the water. I wiped my eyes dry from the tears that were creeping in. Sudden footsteps brought me back to my horrid reality.

"Hey, Jamie. Care to play?" a sinister voice said. My eyes widened. I don't know how much more my body can take. I had to stay strong.

"Do your worst," I replied with courage I didn't have. I can't show fear. If John sees that I'm afraid, he will beat me harder.

"I see someone is cocky today. We will fix that now won't we?" a grin crossed his features and I saw pure hate swimming in his eyes. I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst.

Red. I saw blood. Nothing but blood, covering everything. I felt my anger grow with each punch I took.

Black. My vision was fading. Darkness creeping. Dark soulless eyes bored into mine.

White. Pain exploded. A bright light fading in and out. A release. As it neared, it disappeared. Vanished.

Grey. A cold cement floor. A break. A breath. A hellhole.

"Here is one more to keep you in line," he cackled, swiftly slapping me across my bruised cheek. My head thumped against the wall. Blinding pain ruptured in my skull. I tried to breathe but the fluid in my lungs made the process difficult. I coughed and red droplets painted the cold cement. I couldn't move. I know he had to have broken a few of my ribs. My head was throbbing and I just wanted to sleep, but I knew I couldn't.

"Here, enjoy. And make it last, you won't be getting anymore for awhile," I heard him call down. He threw an apple and a bottle of water down. The water landed a few feet away, but the apple rolled until it came to a stop right next to me. I looked at it. I haven't eaten for a few days, but I didn't feel like eating, I just wanted to lie there. And the constant coppery taste of blood didn't give me much of an appetite either. I pushed it away and just lay there, trying to survive.

Every breath was a struggle. It felt as though my rib cage collapsed on my lungs. Every so often blood would drip down my cheek from the scrape across my forehead. I felt like I had been hit by a semi. I wish I had my medal. It gave me strength. Reminded me I wasn't alone. That someone who cared would always be with me. Someone who actually loved me. A tear dripped down my face, clearing a path through the dried blood.

I felt so tired. I would just close my eyes for a moment. That's all I needed. As I faded in and out of consciousness, I just wondered if they would ever find me. If they even knew I was alive. If they still cared.


	7. Chapter 7

**Yes, it has been ages since my last update, and I am very sorry. Eighth grade is a very busy year. And if that's not bad I have recently joined a community band and I now tutor two people. So I feel like I am being stretched every which way. I will update just not too frequently. Well, until summer that is. But, for now on to the chapter!**

_James P.o.v._

I awoke, panting for breath as I writhed on the cold cement. The burning has gotten worse and I feel as though I am drowning in my own blood. I could feel cold sweat cover every inch of my body. I felt dirty and just plain disgusting. I cannot even recall how long I have been down here. But one thing I do know is that I would rather die attempting to escape this hell hole then be trapped down here for another moment. Sitting up slowly, I released the breath I had been holding. Black dots swarmed my vision and everything felt like it was underwater. _Come on, James. You can do this._ Breathing in deeply I grasped the wall for support as I tried to stand. I was a bit shaky on my feet, but other than that I was fine. I gasped as a burst of fire shot across my chest. I immediately wrapped my arms around my stomach in a futile effort to stop the burning. After a few moments I regained the ability to breathe without feeling as though I was being split apart. I slowly and with much of my strength attempted to climb up the stairs, using the banister along the side for support. I finally reached the top and placed my ear against the door. I listened and waited for the smallest of hints that anyone was there. I could not hear a thing. I placed my hand on the doorknob and tried to twist it. Locked. I took a deep breath and stepped back a little. Mentally counting to three I rammed my shoulder into the door. A burst of pain exploded in my arm and colorful flashes crossed my vision. Hissing in pain I took a step back and plowed into the door once more. I heard a small crack. I tried again and this time was awarded with a much larger splintering sound. One more time. As soon as I hit the door, I was sent forward to the floor. I squinted as my eyes became adjusted to the light. My shoulder had since become numb and not as much of a problem, my ribs on the other hand is another story. But, that would have to wait. I had to get out. I looked around and ran to the door on the other side of the room. It was locked, but I doubt I could break it down. There was a window next to the door. That would work. I looked around for something to break the glass. I hurried into the kitchen and grabbed one of the chairs that had been around the table. I swung the chair with all of my might and the window shattered causing shards of glass to rain down. I jumped through the broken window and landed in the grass, the glass cutting into my palms. I looked back and forth. How am I supposed to get out of this? I slowly stood up and wiped my hands on my pants. Wait, they left one of their cars in the driveway. I hurriedly climbed back through the widow to look for the keys but to no avail. I sighed and walked over to it. It was a cherry red convertible. A Chevy I think. I climbed over the door and proceeded to remove the covering below the steering wheel. I had seen this on a movie once. I connected the wires and prayed that all those hours of television had finally paid off. I heard a small rumble, and then the engine sparked to life.

"Yes!" I shouted to myself.

I put the car in reverse and proceeded to turn the car around. I knew where we were considering I had lived around here my whole life. I just needed to go back down the highway and make a right onto my street. Good. I will finally be free of this hell.

_Lexi P.o.v._

I was leaving the hospital today, but I could care less. I just wanted to find James. I missed him so much. I absentmindedly fingered my necklace. No, not mine. James'.

"Are you ready, sweetie?" My mom called in her sing-song voice.

"Yeah, just uh fixing my hair," I called back. Truth was I had zoned out a while back. I just didn't want her to worry. She probably has had a lot on her mind and a depressed daughter who tried to commit suicide hasn't helped. I took a deep breath and walked out of the room. I had a mission and I wouldn't rest until I completed it.

_James P.o.v._

I quickly turned the car onto our street and as I neared my house, thoughts raced through my mind. Would they want to see me? Would they ever talk to me again? Will Lexi still like me? I shoved the thoughts to the back of my mind as I kept driving. Suddenly, a small squirrel scampered across the road and I spun the wheel to side to avoid the little critter. I ended up hitting a tree. The airbag deployed and I felt my lungs get more crushed than they already were. The blood poured into my mouth and I gagged. I reached for the door handle and when I opened it I fell to the ground. The car was totaled and I could feel a throbbing in my head. Blood dripped into my eyes. I was only a few houses away. I had to make it.

_Lexi P.o.v._

"Mom, I'm gonna go visit Kendall. I haven't seen him in awhile, ok?" I called as I walked to the door.

"Yes, Sweetie, but please call me when you get there alright. I'm still very worried about you."

"K, Mom. I'll see you later."

I shut the door and walked down the steps. I was afraid Kendall would do something rash, like I had. Well, maybe not what I did, but probably something along the lines of mass murder. He does have a pretty bad ass temper.

As I hurried along the sidewalk I saw a few people gathered around what looked like a pretty bad car accident. A red convertible was crushed against a tree. I hope the driver was alright. I hurriedly crossed the street and managed to get through the small crowd. It looked worse close up. And there was a lot of blood. From the looks of it there was only one person in the car. He was lying on the ground motionless. You could hear the faint wailing of sirens in the distance. The air smelled of burnt rubber and blood. I walked a bit closer to get a better look at the person. He was on his side. His shaggy hair covered his eyes. His clothes were badly torn and he looked as though he hadn't eaten in weeks. Though his clothes were baggy you could tell he was just skin and bones. He looked seriously injured and no one seemed to care enough to see if he was alright. I kneeled next to him and rolled him onto his back. I cringed at how easily I could feel his ribs. Blood coated his cheeks, but you could still see how pale he was.

"Hey, come on. Wake up." I shook him gently. He had a head injury and I knew that a person should stay awake until they received medical attention, or they may never wake again.

"Can you just open your eyes? Come on. Please?"

He groaned slightly and shifted a bit. After a moment his eyes fluttered open. I gasped.

"James?"

**This may sound kind of weird, but I have to take a creative writing class and I need some people to tell me what they think of my poetry. I really need to bring up my grade and I couldn't think of anyone better than you guys, so tell me what you think of this:**

Moonlight shines on the pebble path,

Light of a dream,

Beginning of a story.

Tranquil thoughts under the stars,

A whisper in the wind,

A guardian looking down.

The protection of the light,

Safety of the heavens,

An inner peace now brought out,

As the moonlight shines, glistening down.

**And then this one:**

Golden sand,

Soft to the touch,

Waves lick greedily at the shore.

Devouring all vestige

That someone was even there.

Crystalline water reflect the hues

As the ever-shining light slips into oblivion.

The waters darken and the sand loses its glow,

The golden path now dark as if ash.

The only traces of life

Are hidden in the shadows.

The thin path worn away,

The darkness swallows.

Every trace has been lost,

Every footprint gone from existence.


	8. Chapter 8

**Yeah, it has been a long time, but I'm back. And surprise! This is the last chapter! So enjoy and don't forget to review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, James, Carlos, Logan or Kendall. I only own Lexi.**

James P.o.v.

My eyes shot open as my conscious replayed the images of my most recent beatings. Everything around me was white and it felt too sterile. One person was in the corner, their head in their hands. I squinted my eyes, wishing they would just focus already.

"Lexi?" I managed to croak out.

Her head shot up and a smile spread across her face. She was a lot thinner than I had remembered. Keeling down next to me, she laid her head on the cot.

"I- I missed you so much. I thought I lost you." She babbled through her tears.

I moved my arms around her shoulders, flinching at the pain in my shoulder. She lifted her head and wrapped her arms around my chest. I will be honest, it hurt like hell, but I missed her too much to care.

"How did I get here? Last thing I remember, I was in a car."

"Yeah, the car crashed. And I know about everything. The kidnapping, the beatings, and your escape. They caught the two of them on the scene with a gun. They were going to kill you, but the police had to take them out. They're dead. You never have to worry about them again." She stopped suddenly to look up at me. Her eyes shined with tears as she continued. "But promise me you will never hurt yourself again. Because every cut and every line you make hurts me as well," she finished as she pulled back the bandages on her wrist.

Red lines littered her skin; the deeper ones already scabbing. She looked away, obviously embarrassed of how I was staring at her.

"So, where are Kendall, Carlos, and Logan?" I asked hoping to change the subject.

"They will be here in ten minutes. I called them a little bit ago." She replied her eyes avoiding mine.

"What's wrong? Why do you keep avoiding my eyes?"

She sighed. "You don't understand. When the ambulance came you had stopped breathing. They had to do CPR. They weren't even sure if you would make it to the hospital. I was right beside you, absolutely terrified that I would lose you. I love you so much, I can't lose you again." Tears were dripping down her cheeks and she was gasping for breath as she buried her face in her hands.

I pulled her next to me and held her close. At this point, I wish I could personally thank the person who invented morphine; otherwise I probably would have screaming in pain by now. She was shaking and I sat up, having her lean into me. My ribs ached, but my heart ached more. I turned her head to face me. She looked up at me and smiled slightly. I wiped her tears away with my thumb and placed my lips on hers. And at that moment, I could feel the pieces of my heart begin to be put back together.

**Phew! This story is finally done. And I thank you for reading it! It means a lot to a young writer like me. And please review if you can. (Think of the review button like it was James. It needs some love)**


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